I’m currently in the process of moving to another blog. As much as I loved openly blogging on this one, I’m finding that I’m censoring myself a lot more because my identity is a lot more out in the open here. I get that this is part of blogging, and I really shouldn’t be censoring myself because no one should feel that they need to. However, I also have a career to build and a general fear of the wrong lurkers screwing me over in the long run because of something I posted on this blog in a blind rage. I have a lot of things that I want to talk about openly without dealing with the severe consequences… so this is why I’m moving my blog over.
Hey, an uncensored me is going to be a lot more entertaining to read too… just sayin’. The friends-locked Livejournal I kept for over five years was full of very interesting (and almost shocking) misadventures. ;P
I won’t be posting the new address here. Get in touch with me if you want it.
Thank you, Ranting on Zero. You’ve been a great soapbox to me for almost two years. I will miss you.
When I was in high school, I was pretty manic-depressive. I had a lot of panic attacks, usually at night whenever I was alone in my room. I chucked it to hormones though… what 15-year old didn’t have that kind of angst? I never got tested for any emotional disorder.
While my episodes of feeling like a lump of hyperventilating/worthless mess don’t happen as often anymore, I still get them once in a while. It makes me wonder if I should just get tested anyway and find out once and for all if I have some sort of anxiety disorder, or if I’m bipolar, or just in some level of clinical depression. Would it help me to know that though? Could I logically assume that it’s just some chemical imbalance in my brain every time I feel shitty about life? I don’t know.
I haven’t been writing much on this blog lately because of this. I’ve been having a lot of trouble focusing on anything lately. Writing and drawing used to be therapy for me, but now I can’t even translate anything that’s going on in my head on paper. I also don’t have time to sit down and be creative because I’m always so busy with either Repo! or my day job. I don’t even have time to plan our wedding.
There are also a lot of crappy things happening right now that I can’t even blog about for fear of revealing too much and getting in trouble for it. It’s poo, really. Would it help if I also blogged anonymously? I don’t know.
For the past month, I had been working on a custom for an art gallery show in San Francisco. This will be my first full-sized gallery entry. I have to admit, I’m a bit intimidated by the other artists who are on the roster. They’ve been doing customs for a very long time, and here is my humble little one sitting beside them. You can tell really tell the difference in skill level, but I’m still quite proud of what I accomplished. I still have a long way to go, learning new techniques for making vinyl toys… but hopefully one day I’ll be up there too.
Alex and I are also collaborating on another piece for the show. It’s nice to be able to collaborate with him on a lot of things. We really make a good team.
One of the things that is on the list of my things to do before I die is to flash a crowd of people*. There was no real particular reason for this, I just figured that this was an experience every woman must go through. Do I think there’s a sense of empowerment in it? Sure… but mostly, I just think that there shouldn’t be a big deal about boobs. Every girl’s got them. What’s the big deal? Or maybe, just maybe I’ve always been somewhat of an exhibitionist.
For our third Repo! show, we were devoid of a Single Mom role to flash the audience. I nonchalantly agreed to do it. People kept asking if I was going to be comfortable with it. Truth be told, I was never once nervous about the whole thing. I just did it and that was that. One task is done… and at least I got some cheers. Maybe the piercings were that hot?
If anything, it was more hilarious to do this in front of a few of my best friends who were in the crowd that night. Well guys, I guess we’ve reached a new level of friendship.
* Granted, I usually run around topless at the clothing-optional beach all summer… but hey being the only naked chick in a theatre kind of gives me a little bit more street cred, no?
Trying to dance the Hand Jive on-stage at 4am was probably the most challenging thing I’ve done lately. I’m a dork… and it seems like I’ve also figured out some way to make up for my lack of on-stage performance experience in elementary and high school. With my sad obsession with musical theatre, I guess this is bound to happen.
I just found out that one of the most prominent Filipino entertainers from my childhood, Francis Magalona passed away at 44-years old. I remember being four years old and rapping along to his cheesy rap songs. I also remember going to school with his daughter and hanging out with her during rehearsals for our kindergarten play. I hope she’s doing OK… as OK as anyone could be after having a parent pass away anyway, which is probably not very good. Hmm. I don’t even know why I said that. Sorry.
So, my internet/cable provider decided to go apeshit on us this week. This is not just at home, but at work too. As a result, I had been relying on a dinky little iPhone screen to connect me to the rest of the world. I’m going to be honest, I almost went crazy. I find this a little disturbing. For a good chunk of my childhood, internet didn’t even exist! Now I can’t live without it!
Anywhoo, here are some highlights of my days without the interweb:
I finally attended the Fetish Masquerade in the city. It was army themed and the girls of the Shadow Cats stopped by our place for a pre-party photo shoot. We looked more badass than the Pussy Cat Dolls.
I started working on my custom for the upcoming IWG Show in California. I used the air brush for the first time and I love it. My custom looks like a chocolate bar.
Alex and I finally saw “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist”. It had some inconsistencies in the plot and the character development (was anyone else kind of bothered that they had forgotten about Fluffy for most of the movie?), but it was still a cute little movie nonetheless. I mean, any movie with Michael Cera is a definite ovary-tingling experience to begin with. I especially loved the scene in the sound studio… reminded me of fun and awkward first time experiences with dorky boys.
The bulk of my time was also spent prepping for the Repo! show this Friday. So many rehearsals… graphics… props… Paris Hilton… AAHHH!
I also ignored the existence of the Oscars… although I am pretty happy that one of my favourite directors, Danny Boyle was finally given recognition for his work. I haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire yet, but Mr. Boyle’s never let me down before so I’m confident that I’ll like it.
Oh. I also went to Facebook Camp. Don’t ask. I’d rather forget the experience…
